Qeiteri Armelle

Matagal tagal na panahon na rin ang lumipas mula ng huli kung masabing close kami.
hindi ko nga maalala ang eksaktong bilang ng buwan, linggo, araw, oras at kahit sigundo
na nagpalitan kami ng teks.

sa aking pagkaka-alala, di man man niya sinabing gusto niya ako, wala man syang nabanggit
tungkol sa kung anong meron kami, ay naramdaman ko kahit papaano ang saya na dulot ng tinatawag nilang
"PAG-IBIG"..


Akala ko forever kaming ganoon..tiniteks ko siya, tiniteks din niya ako..
tawag dito, tawag doon.. minsan pa nga gumagamit pa xa ng ibang celfon para lang
ipaalam kung nasaan siya, saan siya pupunta o kaya'y saan nanggaling..

Umabot pa nga sa puntong naungkat ang tuksuhan namin nuon sa isa't isa, ang "mummy" at "daddy",
na naging tawagan namin noong CLOSE pa kami. Tawagang nabuo noong friend pa nya ang gusto ko.
Ni hindi ko nga lubos maisip paano niya ako nagagawang tawaging "mmy" sa harap ng ibang tao
gayong alam niyang mahilig manukso ang aming friends.

OO nga pala, we came from one circle of friends, Friendship na nabuo sa pagiging magkaklase.
noon, he had a crush, na sa alam ko ay type na type niya.. baka nga, LOVE na niya iyon.
ako naman, focus sa crush ko na close friend niya. hindi ko nga akalaing matutuon ang atensyon ko sa kanya,
kasi parang "nilalakad niya ako sa friend niya na hindi man lng nagsasabing type ako".
hehe. ang labo nuh?!,..ewan ko dun..

noon ngang ika tatlong taon ko sa kolehiyo, 2nd semester ay lagi kaming magkasamang naglalakwatsa..
of course with some other friends... naging ugat ng tuksuhan. kasi nga daw, parang may Something kami..
dahil nga sa tuksuhang yun, di ko akalaing naglalakwatsa na rin siya patungo sa puso ko..
hehe..


ngayon, nagbgo na ang lahat.. nahinto ang paglalakwatsa, pati na ang teks at tawag.
kaya masasabi kong, we're totally "no-communication". as in di na siya nagtiteks, ni tumawag
o ang sagutin ang tawag ko. maliban lang nung minsang nagteks siya sakin ng magksalubong kami patungong
simbahan.. nagpaalam siyang sa kabilang simbahan siya magsisimba...un lang.

hindi ko na maalala kung kailan nahinto ang aming closeness. siya una huminto, kaya hinayaan ko na rin. para ngang ako ang lalaki..
huminto sa kalokohan ko....


pero nung kailan lng may nangyari...
ni hindi ko alam wat to feel, nung nag post siya ng status sa social networking site na FACEBOOK.
nag comment ako, pero wala lng..

he replied, and i commented in return..
pero hindi ko inaasahang, mag reply siya ng "text2 pud oi"...
at dahil babae ako, nag ASSUME naman agad ako, nasa isip kong, "namimiss niya ako".
hahai. babae nga naman...excited akong mag-online kinabukasan, bka nga nagreply sya...


hayun..nag-online nga ako..
pero ibang comment ang nabasa ko.. dahil nga sa katangahan ko, nakalimutan ko na ang naksaad pala sa post niya ay
"hindi siya makatulog"..ang na feel kong excitement ay napalitan ng disappointment, hahaist...
nag comment kasi yung friend niya na dahil daw sa pag-iisip kai KAYE kung kaya't di siya makatulog...
at may pahabol pang..."love na talaga yan"..

ouch huh?!. ano buh?! kailngn ko pa buh talagang mabasa yun?! tsaka sino buh c KAYE?
hmmm.


now im writting, coz i've learned something and now i am ready and willing to move on...
i've list down my personal steps of MOVING ON..

-dont assume. accept na hindi talaga siya sayo..
-isubsob ang sarili at lahat ng oras sa skwela at mga kaibigan..
- do not recall the your bonding moments.
-huwag mag VIEW sa WALL niya..

kung hindi kaya.. meron pa akong alternative pa..

-ANG IWASAN SIYA-

kaya, im QEITERI ARMELLE, nangangakong gagawin ang lahat para makapag move-on, upang makapag focus
sa studies..dahil ang target ko lang ay ang mapabilang sa listahan ng GRADUATES april'11.
ahahahah..

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hindi mu hawak ang mundo..

may mga bagay talagang hindi mu lubos maisip
ni hindi sumagi sa isipan mong mangayayari..

minsan at halos sa lahat ng panahon kailangan
mong mag panggap na masaya ka ng saganun d nila
mapansin..

d nila mapansin na halos hindi mo na kayang tumayo
sa tuwing maiisip ang mga bagay na akalain mung para
ng mundo ang pinapasan mo sa bigat ng nararamdaman mo..

idagdag mo pa ang problema sa skwela...


maaring malakas ang pag tingin skin ng close friends ko.
they never see me nawalan ng pag-asa kahit nung nabagsak nami..
they never see me crying because of love and maybe even because of my
family's situation right now..

ni hindi nila alam nag puno't dulo ng storya ng aking buhay.
at d nila dapat malaman pa..

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something happens unexpectedly...
i nevr realize until he went to his hometown..

several months passed that donkey was all i want to be with ..
not thinking that i was inspired by someone that
i dont think to become an inspiration..
he is someone opposite to what donkey is..
he is also nice man..
he makes me laugh before i got sleep..
and even in the early morning, at noon and again when evening comes...

hahaha.. dnt know what i felt right now..
is this a new chapter of lovelife?

ohohoho...dnt know what to think right now..

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Sori jud..
From now on..
U wil never see my profile again appear on your wall…
Pra katu lng na sunggog big deal n sa imu?
Ouch ah. Your so mabaw….

Nbuhat lng tu nku coz I dnt know how to react sa aku nkita..
D mn gud ku anad mkita nga naa kay kauban..
Wel, knsa mn pud daw ku pra mgbuot ug mhimong posesive sa imu?
Hahaist.. I know i dnt hav right at ol…
You make me so pathetic,
you dnt know how much pain you have caused me..

erase erase..
bitter kau ku nuh?
Sori jud…
Anih n jud ku…
You dnt know how many months you make me praning …
Like no one ever do it to me..
Hahaist…

U are nothing..
But to me u are evrythng..
Though you are not on my standard..
But still, I fall on you..

How many did I promise to myclf not to think of you..
But still my heart insisting to do what makes me happy..
Kala ko nga happy aku..
Un pla hindi..
Thinking, spending time to someone who didn’t even give care to me…

This is too much..
A major2 too much..
I should stop this noon pa…

Hope its not too late…

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I hope I can stand it…
I hope it would be the last day I will call you -----,
For I have seen that you live your life right now with satisfaction,
I’ve noticed that happiness drawn in your face today like I’ve never seen it before.Stay happy and focused.
i will always be here sitting pretty,
Celebrates with you for your achievements and prays for you if you have problems..
It might sound funny,
but I like you more,
Than of what you have noticed.
i still have the smiles drawn in my face every time you were there.
And I can even remember the pains I felt when I thought of you with another girl.
But now, I can merely accept the truth that this is not the right time,
You give joy to my life,I might be too showy..
but i am what i am.And for me,
it is the simple way of saying goodbye..
To the old puypuy, jean, pol..And hello to the new me.!

P.S. everything remains the same, but not the things I’ve done to you that makes you think that you were obliged to do so.
Thank you for the happiness you’ve given to me.
You make me smile when I’m sad.
More power and go higher!!Always remember…
I will always be your -----,
a very malicious friend,
And will always be your hopeless romantic friend.!
FIONA…Already moved on with SHREK..
And now, trying to forget DONKEY…
LORD FARQUAAD...dont cha ever come..
cause if you will, it will only endure another pain...:-l

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All I want is to keep a distance with him, and not to communicate at all.
I thought all the things I want would make me happy,
but the truth it doesn’t working at all.
Instead, it only makes me frustrate.
Frustrated to the things I’ve never really expected nor imagine to happen this way.
I was flooded with projects and problems,
and yet bombarded with the pains I felt every time our path crosses,
and our eyes meets, thinkin’ that this I felt for him right now,
would make us destructed in our studies.
I want to be happy to see him satisfied and focused,
but my heart and mind insisting I am happier to be closer to him.
And show this “infatuation” I have for him.
Coz it sound ridiculous but I cant imagine me fallin with other guy..^_^
There are nights before I sleep,
and times that I’m at the corner of my room thinkin
that you have might read this piece I made because of you,
that you are my silent reader. If that really happens,
I know you can even recognize for whom I am writing this so,
please do not leave a comment. Amisyu.mishurteks.mishurboys.aymisarbanding.aimismaichardyer.mishu.. HWGPJDZHCCNSKey: LOVE

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What is this im feelin'?
a feeling so strong, A LOVE or INFATUATION?
how can you differ love from infatuation.

Is this LOVE, when your mind was set to don't get close to him, yet your heart insisting you want to be with him..

Is this LOVE, when you said to your friends I dont want to go to somewhere for maybe he was also there, but then your heart shouting you're really want to be there..

Is this LOVE, when you dont want to hold his possessions, but when you see those things held with other, you want to grab it and say it was mine..

Is this LOVE, when you decided not to do it for he might think he was obliged to do it so, But then you were still doing it all over again..

Is this LOVE, When you ask God not to be close him, But at the end of every prayer you will able to say "if he also likes me... sana sya n lng pra sakin..."

Is this LOVE, when you dont react when you met, you dont drop a comment to his shoutout, you dont send him private messages, in simple words, you are not interacting with him... but then you were still destructed because every now and then his thoughts were always on your mind..

Is this LOVE, when you dont want to see him, yet you know you were going to the place where he is and as ever as possible, you wear your best dress, and spray your over seductive and poisonous fragrance... -just a thought.. LOVE or INFATUATION? lol

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a guy who was almost 2 yrs ago was just my "ordinary classmate" But then unexpectedly became my "special friend"A friend who has been my companion When were going to or from our M*** class...

A friend who I dont want to laugh by my friends and class mates, bu then I didnt able to defend him..

A friend of mine who not because of his effort on writing our final project almost 2 yrs ago ables me pass...

A friend who became my resort when I was on deep pain because of a common friend...

A friend who was according to my friends a very boring person, was the friend who makes me happy and ables me to temporarily forget my problems....

A friend who was captures our class moments and bondings, was also the friend who captures my heart...

A friend who was before good in trash talk, was now my inspiration to grow spiritually...

A friend who makes me realize that i know nothing in the faith and religion I grew...I never been expected him to be my friend than an inspiration,but for now, i have no regrets for he makes me matured emotionally and spiritually...

A friend of mine, that compared by my friend to a zombie of PVZ,donkey on Shrek, that according to them was not talented...is as of now, the songer of my life...he might not acknowledge this, he might not aware of this,but im happy to met him =)

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